Urgh my favourite lunch spot has run out of the Californian artichokes. I just can't eat any other type of artichok… https://t.co/EdXOsmmilv

Rules to live by #87: Never touch a man's poker chips.

Guys all our off-sites are gonna be in Nashvegas from now on, that place is wild.

Dude I love our new poker table at the office. Such a vibe.

This place does the absolute best spicy marg. You gotta have the spicy marg. Mate can I get two spicy margs here. Yeah here.

Dude the service here is terrible. But if they fucking blacklist me I will rein down fire and terror on their assholes.

Dude the baby gem's this season are absolutely insane, you gotta try the Caesar.

I love writing a good complaint that includes the phrase 'imagine my disappointment'

I'd love to hear your hot take on meeting etiquette. Here's my calendly.

Dude, dude, dude. I made the most amazing gif today. Lemme show you my gif. It took me all morning but the loop on it is so so perfect.

Thanks Jally! &lt;3 site has never looked so pink. https://t.co/BfMsECrWn1

Finally, this is the blogging platform I've been waiting for. https://t.co/pByzcn1y1c

So excited to bring out all my favourite pink swim shorts for family vacay! 😎

Sorry guys gotta keep this tweet short 'cos I'm super hungover.

I thought everyone only bought the Saturday paper for the supplements?

Oh man, I have a lot of backlog pruning to do on Netflix this weekend.

I can neither confirm nor deny that I have never said a bad thing about South London.

Renewed my personal domain for another couple of years. Keeping the dream alive. https://t.co/qX6bFqq2TM tell your friends.

Doubling-down on my @datadoghq swag today. Socks AND underwear. #reppin

Love these mini bath bombs Mrs Pink Peter bought. https://t.co/L53IB7CBzo

Totally ruined myself in the 24 hours I was in London on my way to Cape Town. That's never happened.

My foam roller is just the best. I love a good foam roller.

Just did a full pen-test audit of my wifi-connected garden faucet. How's your Sunday?

Just got told I write emails like a politician. Week. Made.

OMG my Cobra Jet Spray Animal Repeller has arrived. The neighbour's cat isn't going to know what sprayed it.

Guys, we need to cube the crap out of this problem.

Omg having to cancel my boozy lunch, this dinner is too boozy. Another nebuchadnezzar garçon!! 👏👏

Omg I'm like a goat at a salt lick right now #food #steak #meat #omg

Doesn't everyone leave a light on for their security camera?

Best thing about NYC is the fresh produce. My Global Knives have never cut anything so fresh! #sofresh

I didn't think this through at all. https://t.co/0yBEBtmW9M

Oh god. No one in NYC knows what a flat white is. I've made a terrible mistake.

Urgh, is it so hard to find a hotel with a doorman for my last night in London?

Don't you hate it when people put their columns in your spreadsheet before asking?

WOOHOO! Used all my frequent flyer miles to go upper class to NYC. Keep me away from the peasants.

Oh man, my skin is so sparkly. Mrs Pink Peter's bubble bath is something special! https://t.co/tlh8dJE7MN

Oh man. I need a break from developing. I wrote code TWICE this week.

It was pretty hard to keep #elopegate off social media. I SO nearly checked in at the wedding office #gonedark

Urgh Mrs Pink Peter is getting more likes than me on FB.

Not wise announcing marriage on a dry day. Prefer celebrating with a sweet Chenin. Oh well, have to stick to Sauv Blanc. #amidoingitright?

Mrs Pink Peter didn't want to live-tweet our vows though. Marriage is about compromise, kids.

With our combined Klout score, my selfie-mate and I will be unstoppable &lt;3 #totesgotmarried #omgwin

RT @lmcgaughy: "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." #genewilder https://t.co/QWx3fhSqPb

YES my new BBQ grill cleaning utensils have arrived.

Urgh, my developer is pushing back on a idea that is super easy to implement. SO easy! I wrote the SQL query for it in my mind just now!

Don’t you think a ‘Swiss movement’ sounds a bit like a turd?

“Had a bit of a Swiss movement this morning”

I brought a jumper out 'cos it might get cold later but I hope I don't have to wear it because it doesn't go with my outfit 😔

Phew! Boy is it warm in here. Better put on my sunnies.

I spend so much time in the back of an Uber, I think I might just #pivot and become an Uber driver.

Finally, my new curtains have arrived. Don’t you know how hard it is to sleep without curtains?

I just want to clarify this in case anyone is confused. I do not take the bus.

Adding “Leadership” to my LinkedIn skills. Putting it on my LinkedIn profile makes it true, right?

To DC, or to San Pel? The decisions of a #startupheadhoncho

OMG I ordered the wrong microfibres, how am I going to polish my new iPhone now?

Just realised how easy it is to solve this problem with AI.

Classic vay-kay antics. https://t.co/3o0pQdhEr6

Writing some notes for the team for while I’m away. Spent a whole pom making up a witty ‘motto’ for the company.

OMG using pomodoros has increased my productivity so much!

There are only 3 essentials when packing for a trip to Wales: Underwear, hiking boots, passport.

My motivation #startuplife https://t.co/sxmQiFlKEu

Drank so much wine last night my voice has dropped an octave.

I have just finished constructing the most complicated spreadsheet of my life.

When all you have is free Uber credit, everything looks like an Uber journey.

Hey Twitter, how’s it going? Not much, just in the back of an Uber.

What’s the best Sharpie? Fine tip?  Asking for a friend.

Planning an event. In charge of ordering refreshments. Just buying wine. Who doesn’t drink wine?

Woop Woop! I am becoming officially certified in wines and spirits. That's exempt from Dry Mondays, right?

Looking forward to my fondue night on Sunday omg. Such cheese. So due.

Cancelling my gym membership because I can't afford my future member's club.

OMG got invited to trampolining but not sure I can fit it in between hot yoga and my massage with Isabelle.

So hungover I didn’t even notice Twitter went down.

Renewed my LinkedIn Premium membership. Best thing I ever signed up for!

Can’t wait for our cheeky Nandos today. It’s been in the calendar for weeks.

Late start today ‘cos my meeting with my bath overran.

Stand back, I’m making a large credit card purchase.

Having a small glass of wine with lunch is still a no booze day, right?

Walking to my fave lunch spot whilst writing code in my mind palace #multitasker

It’s 2016. Why are we still using console.log?!

Oh man, this smashed avo on sourdough is so good.

Just checked my Uber rating, ooh yeah #5starclub

Can I trick a battery charger into charging a non-rechargeable battery by pairing it with a rechargeable one?

OMG totes ate so much food at Christmas. Just a salad for lunch I think. In the form of a wrap.

@PinkPeter